EXTREME violence

I have some really stressful dreams.  Like graphic violent dreams, so disturbing that I wake up crying.  I think it’s called a nightmare at that point.  If that’s my subconscious talking, I have a very graphic and violent latent subconscious.  Very disturbing, to the point that I have a post a blog about this topic.  I’m hoping the blog post is somehow cathartic and this violence dissipates and evaporates into cyberspace.  No one should be subjected to the kind of violence and pain I was inflicting and suffering in my dreams.

When I was 19 years old, one recurring nightmare was one I had of dying in my mother’s arms.  It was very graphic and real and a great source of stress.  My Uncle (who has departed our world about 9 years ago) said a prayer for me.  My Uncle was also our Family Spiritual Leader and a Holy Man.  He told me that the dreams were just that, dreams. Nothing more.  He also said a prayer for me, not to remember my dreams.  Since that day forward, it’s not often I remember my dreams.  I knew I had dreams, because I would remember parts/bits of the dream when I awoke.  Then they would drift away, as I started my day, often completely forgotten by the time I’m brushing my teeth.

I had a nightmare last night, which continued, even after I awoke several times.  I had some awesome superhero kind of skills (crime fighter Spiderman/Neo (Matrix)/Jet Li) kinds of skills but it wasn’t enough to fight off the bad guys.  I wasn’t waiting for the bad guys to come to me, rather I was hunting them.  Particularly, I wanted to inflict the worst pain, as I knew where the nerve endings were.  One of them couldn’t handle the pain and had to destroy another so I wouldn’t have the opportunity to inflict this pain.

So to analyze what does this mean? I’m aware that these types of dreams appear when I’m stressed out and feeling disconnected from the rest of my family.  It didn’t occur to me, until right now that I should have said a pray with some sort of smoke (putting up cedar or the like) but that also says that I’m not thinking this is related to my spiritual side.  It could be a reminder that I should always be thinking of my spiritual side, which is something I struggle with.  In any case, I’m at the end of my lunch hour and I need to get back to work.  Thoughts?


About bibiiwens

Navajo, self-assured, bibliophile, skeptical, analytical and klutzy.
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2 Responses to EXTREME violence

  1. wyz says:

    holy crap. maybe u watched hanna one too many times? =P still havent watched it BTW. seriously too busy partying to go. hahaha for reals. we gots kikos this sat.

    OH! maybe caity screaming her head off might have something to do with it?

  2. Its Yur Lil Bro says:

    OK, don’t hate me for analyzing yur dreams cuz you asked for it.

    Superhero kind stuff where you want to conquer the world means exactly what yur doing. Going after the impossible. But guess what inflicting the pain means? It means that you are still highly unsatisfied with what you accomplish and you want more and more and more. There something missing.

    Yur spiritual side which you explained that you neglect. This is the missing part that needs attention and fulfillment. All the things you do will never be fully satisfactory until you get spiritual fulfillment.

    Anyways thats an attempt to analyze yur dreams. Thats why i try to keep my dreams to myself. Weirdo!!! Jk.

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