I have less than 2 weeks left in Kansas. Having to leave the good friends I made is painfully difficult. In the middle of dinner with my closest pals last night, I started to think about how difficult it will be and is, to say good-bye to these friends. It made me sad and little bit sullen. Discussion and conversation was lively so I was able to hang on until I got home. I broke down once I got home. I had a few conversations with my family so I was okay by the time I went to bed. I can’t help but feel a whole plethora of emotions: hurt, chagrin, some anger – the stinging feeling behind my eyes.
My family is a different story. I’ve been receiving a string of text messages from my family and friends that they can’t wait for me to come home. I go into the great unknown – uncertainty. I realized that all my life, I’ve been dreading this place: Unknown, uncertainty. Everything I do is planned, sometimes to such a precision. It’s been a very long time – 18 years since I did something for which I didn’t have a plan. All I know is that I’ll be fine. I’m wiser, for now I have the personal knowledge and experience that makes me a better human, on the path to happiness and balance.My path lies in the rainbow. It’s guided by prayers and songs. I follow the path of the yellow corn pollen.