Wendy’s Secret Life

I watched “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” the other night. It was an unexpected catalyst for me to start to assess my life. It was probably inevitable, the life analysis.

Growing up on the Navajo Rez is a blessing, wonderful, difficult, sheltered and makes you grow up fast, all rolled into one. I read a lot. Voraciously. And I read everything! Comic books, mysteries, magazines, big novels and at one point, I started reading the encyclopedia set. I got through “M”, by the end of summer.  I read about places and people the world over.

National Geographic was a favorite, because of all the pictures (it’s still a favorite). A couple of years ago, when I was plagued with a bout of Bell’s Palsy, we went home (Navajo Rez) for a ceremony. When we go home to the Rez, we usually arrive in the middle of the night (it’s a 7-8 hour drive from Tucson to Home). Looking out the window in the middle of the night just before you drift off (the curtains were still open), gazing out at the million stars of the Milky Way, I wondered how many times I did that in my childhood. A flood of memories came back about who I wanted to be and where I wanted to go. Walter Mitty echoes the same sentiment, “I used to have this idea of who I wanted to be, what I wanted to do.”  I would imagine all the different places I would visit.  I’ve not traveled as much as I thought I would.

The cinematography is simply incredible in Walter Mitty movie, so get it on Blu-Ray if you can.  The sheer beauty of the desolation and isolation compares to the Navajo Rez.  It could be the Rez, during 1 week of Spring season, in all its lush green landscape.

In my assessment of my own life, I reflected on some poor choices I’ve made, as well as the high points, my good intentions, the places I’ve been and the people I’ve met. I don’t have everything figured out but I have a very good idea of who I should be now. I need more contemplation on what I want to do now. I’ve been idle too long, to the point of complacency, thinking I have forever. I don’t have forever. I need to get off my duff. I can be cautious but unafraid (which isn’t to say, brave).  Sadly and to my own disappointment, my secret life is fairly simple and boring.  I’ve been here before.  I need to find my courage and strength once more.

I need to make a list. And my lunch break is over so I gotta go.

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About bibiiwens

Navajo, self-assured, bibliophile, skeptical, analytical and klutzy.
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